Mar 07
(Days In Hospital)
ar...so sad... i can't b so happy anymore or shld i say i can't b so active as i was last time. tat's all due to an accident tat no1 xpected. i try avoiding knocking into the person but in the end i fall down fr my mountain bike. perfectly fine n no injures, juz a bit of pain on my abdomen. i thought it's was gastric pain as i didn't took my breakfast b4 i went cycling. i thought of goin 2 bukit timah area 2 hv it. NVm abt all tat la. so i call the non-emergency hotline but they said they couln't help mi much so trnsfer my line to 995 n when the line was through ,i told them my location. aft tat i was sent to h6(NUH). In the emergency room, the doctor applied some type of gel-like thing on my stomach n started scanning my stomach. Aft all those scanning, they found tat i m having internal bleeding.supected something burst/damaged in the body system. so ask mi abt my blood type n my personal belonging r all being safekeep by a person inside the A&E room. the next moment, i was pushed into another room inside the A&E dept. Time seem 2 stop like tat during tat time. i couldn't remeber wat time was it? but around 1200-1300, i was jabbed wif anaesthesia. The doctor started the operation n i was pushed out aft several hours aft tat. i couldn't remeber anything but when i was awake, i was shocked 2 hear some thing tat i did when i was still under the effects of anaesthesia. i have pulled a tube tat was stuffed in fr my mouth 2 my stomach by myself aft the operation. tis incident i can't reacll anything out of it but NVM la. i was in ICU 4 a day b4 i gt transfrered 2 High-D 4 another 2 more days. When i was in ICU, i was equiped wif a lots of tubes n needles but when transfered to High-D, the tubes n needles was not much. when i was High-D, actuly the nurses r trying their best 2 find a bed in normal ward 4 mi n thaks 4 their hard work. there is finally a place n i was tranfrered them but still can't eat anything. in any words 2 say, i was on drip until around 9th den the tube adapt to my urine system is aslo being taken out n i was allow 2 eat. since it is a hospital so i didn't expect the food 2 b so nice n it is all within my expection. bland n tastless but no choice. 4 the sake of recovery n hunger aft so many day, i ate. althoughi was in hospital n i didn't tell any1 abt it expect my relative who gt 2 noe by themselve. the reason y i dun tell any friends n maybe tat"some1"(u noe who u r la) is because i dun wan u all 2 worry abt mi because i believe it's juz a minor operation n in no time, i'll b able 2 recover n i m so sorry to make u all worry. wat i wish to say is sorry tat i only talk abt it now. thanks 4 all the concern tat may/may not hv reached mi. i m goi 2 b fine soon aft the taking of the stitches. so dun worry, soon, the old self of mi'll b coming back but in another ways which u all may takes times 2 adapt. Btw, i m goin 2 finish NS, i can't imaine tat 1 years n 8 months + hv passed n i m goin 2 end my NS life. times files so i think 4 mi, recovery is even faster. Tat "some1", watever may /can happen but no matter wat, i'll b on ur side 2 help u overcome anything. All u need is juz a call/msg, i'll b there. Ok then. resting 2 recover faster so this'll b the end of tis post. Write more agian in my next post. Take Care every1.
01032007
times pass so fast like lighitng. now ti's already the third month of tis year.i remeber abt a week/two ago, i was so busy thinking abt oversea tis CNY which is juz over n now i m back from the trip. Actuli, tat place was a nice place but sometimes the food can b a problem if u cannot reali adapt to it. the scenery there in hanoi, area in halong bay Xspecialy is so nice tat i can't find any words 2 describle it.But if u reali feel like going, it's worthwhile goin juz to tour.The City(Hanoi) main transport is motorcycles so mostly on the road r packed wif it. There is not much traffic light but the traffic is still ok.When crossing, u gt to juz walk across n not like in Singapore can juz dsah across becoz the motorcycles r travelling in a speed tat if u r crossing juz right in front of it, they'll immediatly stop. truly nice trip in Northern Part of Vietnam.I'll write more abt my trip to Vietnam in my next Post. Take care.Belated Happy CNY. bye....bye....
Feb 07
05022007
ar....so fast n new year is coming. by right, shld be happy but i dun reali feel so maybe is because tis year wouldn't b in Singapore ba. but i think tat's time being only as when the days approaching, maybe i'll happier then than now. there's always things ppl r curios n wan 2 noe abt but when they noe, their feeling is like : ar, like tat only . nothing interesting/fun lo. so strange right? y do we hv tat kind of feeling. sometimes noe the answer to tat curosity is 2 hv the answer so ur mind can b peaceful aft so much questioning. watver it is, time files n it flies so fast tat we may nt even notice it. wishes all ppl gong xi fa cai n long ma jin shen. tat's all. bye
Jan 07
30/01/2007
ar...so sianz lo. everytime if not on duty is time pass is like 1day = 1 month like tat lo. so sianz until i dun noe wat 2 do lo. go cycling in the morning already so afernoon maybe not goin anymore. but i m staring/looking at tis monitor 4 at least 1hrs already. my eyes r so tired lo.head pain now somemore. but think maybe becoz dehydration in the morning. feel ok juz now lo.life is always like tat. things happen out of a sudden. ut so long u can handle n apapt 2 it, u'll b ok wif it juz like mi. 2 mi, anything can b ok so long it doesn't harm/afect in anyway. but sometimes, even though it harms/affect mi, i some how at tat point of time gt no choice but 2 accept the truth/fact.but i some how like still beginner in computer stuff lo. i m still figuring how 2 make my blog nicer. it's so plain n un attracive lo. i c wat i can do la regardless of wat method/ways, i'll try my best to make/figure it out. i thik tat's all 4 today la. i ned 2 go n search now n completet it asap.
29/01/2007
Hi, i m back again after so long nv update my blog. i m quite busy ever since my last blog update. but in tat periods of time, many things have happened but these things taught mi a lot n at least life is not lke wat i said last time. it can b more beautiful n better as how u 1 it 2 b. Actuali, time flies as i left wif less den 1/2 a year to my ORD, i m goin to finish my NS le. i dun reali noe wat i'll b doin after tat. i think i shld work n save money 2 cotinue my studies again. Practically, i paln to work back at the same company i hv work b4 as i m familiar wif the ppl n enviroment there.but tat work would b a temp 1 onli. planning is taking place as i work down the road. in reality, certain things r reali cruel to certain person bt no matter watever happen, we shldn't nt give up hope n despair ourself as tat certain thing can be a lesson which is priceless. i m not reali experienced in all tings but i been throughh it b4 so juz air n voice it out here onli. most probably wat others may think is u n t experienced den tok so much here 4 wat.things r nt like wat u say lo. they can b the opposite of wat u say/think. truly it can be opposite but isn't life suppose 2 be full of wonder n miracle? if u noe wat can happen , can u guarantee tat u can let it happen in the same way tat u 1? if u noe who u'll b wif 4ever, do u think things can work out the way u wan it 2 be? so think abt it. time sometime can b miracle but sometime it can harm u even more.wonders everywhere so how i wish my wonder can came true.
Sep 05
22/09/2005
ar..haiz.. i think i m reali a totali useless. i dun noe y i say tis la but i juz feel like doin so onli. i think i m decieving my self nowadys n in e past too. i told myself i can be able 2 4get n wat time is miracle ithink all e thing i say mayebe true 4 some othes out there but nt mi. i dun think tat's true 4 mi. until nw i stilll cannt 4get wad happened tat day. i think i reali need help but i dun noe who 2 run 2 4 help but nvm la i m used 2 it anyway. i think wad i can do is run. although running reality is nt a solution 4 mi but at least i can no need 2 face it. life is always full of challenge maybe tat matter is a challenge 4 mi. tis challenge i dun think i can hadle so when i cannt handle y nt avoid n try it another time den. i reali dun noe wat i m thinking aso lo. wat can i do? i feel sick n tired. i feel exhausted n restless in life. no 1 2 tok 2 , no 1 2 confide 2 although there maybe 1 but always trouble her i aso feel embrassed so i dun think i reali can confide in her la. wat i can say nw is wat ever r done cannt be undone. some wound cant nv healed on its own. telling n cheating myself on things which cannt/impossible 2 happen is a torture. but i hv no choice but 2 do tat becoz no matter wat i muz still live till e day i no longer able 2 c n feel tis world anymore. maybe all tis 2 mi is juz a dream /fantasy? i dun noe but i hope ta if it is, i can wake myself up if nt den if let mi rest in peace in my dreams instead of being suffering in my dreams. may everyday be peaceful 4 every1 out there. may all ppl out there be blessed wif happiness. hope tat all thing can turn out smoothly 4 all of u. watever u think is riz 2 do, juz do it. if nt u'll regret it in ur whole life. hapiness always there. frenzship always there. it is up 2 u 2 decide whether 2 make it saty/ make it go. regards wifout regards. mayy there always be peace.
10/09/2005
ar... actuli,i dun noe wat i shld say lo. wat i can say nw is reali i m totali in a lost world. i dun noe wat i m doin nw. i juz gt posted 2 HQ 4th CD divison which is located juz beside bukit batok fire staion.i hv been in there 4 3 days alreadi. although is like veli sianz labut still no choice wad becoz still new there wad. i dun reali communicate wif juz any1 since last friday lo. i dun noe wat 2 do. i wish 2 4get everything but i still unable 2 do tat. at sometime when i gt nthg 2 do, i'll think of her lo. i think i reali needs a periods of time 2 completeli 4get abt alll tis. dun worri , i m nt ta type of person who'll go commit suicide/die juz becoz of a relationship 1. i'll trying all my best 2 pull myself up n live happli. i still gt such a long way 2 go so y shld i give up nw and my life cannt be used up fully instead? if it's time 2 let go, juz let it go. if u dun, u r rtying 2 make urself suffer or juz e other party 2 suffer so y nt juz let it go n live ur own life fully. but at pt of time, u reali dun noe whether is ur choice riz/wrong but watever u do juz follow ur heart, it can take u 2 e correct path but if u need advice, find some1 who u think can help u on e problem. time can make miracle. trust ur own decision n follow ur heart, u'll get 2 where u wan 2 go. tok more agin next time.bye
Aug 05
20/08/2005
helo evey1 out there,
it has been nearly 1 month sice my last post. times reali files. i m having my posting out parade this coming wednesday. in another word 2 say, i hv completed my Basic Rescue Traing. Actuli, i found my camp a nice place 2 stay lobut juz tat it's a bit old onli la. All my instructors n sirs r reali 2 us. Among them, there r 4 of them which i like e most. They r my sir(LTA Yusri), sergent(SGT Rizal), coporal(CPL Amin) n coporal(CPL Peter). they reali take care of us a lot n care a lot 4 us too. So sad , i m goin 2 leave e camp soon aft i hv developed a feeling wif e camp but who noes i may be posted back 2 e camp again. Evrything is unpredictable. i enjoy all e traing no matter whether is it in e camp itself or at e MTV(Mandai Training Village), we enjoy it all. i remeber e best was when i wear e chemical agent suit wif e mask too. when i wore it, it was reali hot but fun becoz in a lifetime maybe get 2 wear onli once. i reali cannt believe tat i m having my POP nxt wednesday. i hope tat i can be posted at BB fire station becoz ta station is near 2 my house. up 2 here, i reali dun wish 2 tok more on my camp life. my mind nw is confused n a bit mixed up. i dun noe wat 2 say/ hw 2 say abt ta feeling la.i hope everthing can goes smoothly as it should be. tok more nxt time. gtg. bye.
Jul 05
19/07/2005
arlo every1, reali long time sice my last post. maybe becoz i m working while i waiting 4 my enlisting date so too busy to write but nw at least i manage 2 spare some time time 2 write 1. nw i m in SCDF jalan bahar camp(BRTC) alpha company, Platoon 3, Tigers. e 1st week of NS was like so sianz lo. all we do was eat, lesson, sleep n water pared everyday lo. this is e 2nd week nw fr wat i noe, starting fr this week, i dun think it would be so sianz anymore lo.i started 2 like CD nw becoz there is no more use of mi hate being where i m nw as all thses are all fated. but i m trying all my best 2 adapt myself in2 e NS life. everyday i woke up at 4.30am n slp onli aft 10.30pm. in e 1st week of my NS life, i reali could nt reali slp tat well. nw no choice can nt slp aso muz try 2 at least slp 4 4hrs a day in order 2 hv ji sheng 4 e nxt day lesson. i left wif 5 more weeks aft this week ends. so fast 2 weeks is goin 2 pass lo but tat gd la at least i can get out og tat camp soon n fast. i m reali tired lo. my face look like a zombie which does nt hv any sense of ji sheng n expression on it. hope my training can end faster n sooner. in camp, there is some 1 i reali miss, wif her in my mind everyday it reali help mi a lot. at least i dun feel so sianz looking in a daze when we hv some free time. hope tats those who r having tests n exams can excel in their studies but 4 those who r nt dun be sad too, i hope alll of u can be healthy n fine always. hope everything can go smoothly as u predict/hope it could be. i 4got ....i m getting my cert 2day but aft e ceremony i still need 2 book in again lo. so sianz but nvm la time pass veli fsat 1 wad. ok la... i update tois blog agin nxt time. take care every1. bye bye.
Jun 05
16/06/2005
arr... so tired aft working 4 so many days although in between i gt some days off la. but dun noe y la, always like nt enough rest lo but at least i get 2 work rather den spending my time doing nothing at home. i gt so frusted by one of my DM. he seem 2 like to oppose wif mi even aft i gt transfere out fr his department which he is in charge of. but i dun care so much la. i have quitted my job as i need 2 go 4 my NS. who cares wat he say, i still gt onli three more weeks so y should i bother abt him. i shld juz do wat is expected of mi n nt get myself so bother abt e store. but b4 i go in camp, i 'll go something first but tat something i'll nt say/ breathe a word abt it it here la. i nw feel tat i reali need 2 spend some toiem searching e real mi out. but i lack of time. i m reali confused nw. i reali dun noe wat 2 do. there r too many things in my mind tat i m thinking abt nw. my head i feel like is cracking n bursting soon. i dun think i can take it anymore. i dun noe wat i'll do 2 myself lo but i hope is not something tat harms n hurt my self la. too bad, all thing r unpredictable. anything can happens 2wards mi. i hope tat wif my off 2molo, i can relax myself n 4get abt everything 4 e time being.....ok la....tats all i can write 4 2day.......gtg ......bye
03/06/2005
ar....so sianz n tired aft all my break lo. long time nv post anything alreadi. nw my life is a total mess. i can't reali express all my feeling out lo. i dun noe hw 2 say aby e feeling la.it is like a bit of troubled plus unhappy plus many other. dun care abt it la. i nw here 2 write a post nt put my everything here. i m nw waiting 4 my NS. i gt enlisted into Civil Defence which i nv expected 2 be inbut nvm la it's juz a 2year of NS onli wad. who vares where i gt enlisted 2. nw i feel sianz becoz this whole week i m nt working lo expect on sat n sun onli. time pass quicker den anything. 4 days have alreadi passed. i aso dun noe hw come so fast 4 days hv passed until i c e calendar 2day. my cousin went in 4 NS alreadi.wednesday night we went KBOX Karoke n sang fr 7.30+ 2 3am in e morning den go home.nw thinking abt it, tat was 2 days ago onli. i no need c la, in another 1mths time i m goin in 2.but somehw i still hv some regret lo wif my studies. y i always play n nv concenrate more on studies? y i always like tat? i think NS maybe is e time i shld learn 2 grow up n be more mature. hw i hope tat e enlistment date is 2molo. i think i shld reali try 2 change all my attitude n all my bad habits n everything tat is bad abt in when i go NS. i dun wish 2 be e same old mi again n again. it's so tiring n so bored. wish 2 hv at least some changes. lets e power of NS may change mi. althought my nick is DeViL but i m nt reali tat bad la. sob....sob... think back abt all e thing i hv done over all theses years, i feel like crying :'(. i feel these fews year i hv lived 4 nthg at all. i onli realised it when i lost tat "some1" n during tat period of time, my world 2 mi is like an empty shell. i dun feell like studying n doin anything but soon altought i hv picked myself up but i m still living in e empty shelll of mine. maybe NS is aso e time 2 reali get myself out of e shell. an advice: in watever u do, trust urself tat u can do n u'll succed but if u dun do/try at all, u'll nv succed. may my NS be a fast n smooth 1. hope tat everything is easy-goin 4 mi. Finally hope tat every1 reading this post/noe mi is fine n happy always. dun worri n stay happy always
May 05
28/05/2005
wat shld i say le....... ok i gt it, yesterday night whole night cannt slp le i aso dun noe wat is e reason behind it lo. but i m very excited n hapy aft my gan mei called mi n tok wif mi 4 abt more den 1 1/2 hrs lo. 2day blur blur go school, 1st periods S&W(sport&wellness) dun noe y le 2day go gym alone train muscle lobut aft doing tt training dun feel tired at al still can carry on wif my second period which is my prt(process technology) lesson n nv fell asleep in e class.Aft tt i came home, i went to SNS(fj)ask ppl to hv lunch wif mi. aft lunch i came homeuntil stil dun feel sleepy at all lo. i aso dunnoe y i m typing this article to post in my blog lo. i juz feel like having this blog may hv help mi a bit in my life. whenever i m nt happy/happy/watever la, i juz come in n type watever things/feeling i wan to type den slowly those things will fade away/be erased off 4 e time being. but if u gt any comment/words tt u wan to tok/lecture mi,feel free 2 do so dun worri tt i'll scold u/do anything 2 u lo. i m willing to take anyadvice fr anyone who gt this blog address of mine. take care evry1 who is reading this blog of mine. remeber b4 u do anything think 1st so tt u'll nt regret. life is so beautiful. there is always a tomorrow 4 evry1 of us. Play hard & study well. may things go smoothly wifout any obstacles
Message From E Devil(Xiao Mo Wang) faithfully yours
Apr 05
22/04/2005
oh man.....hw realaing it is 2 sit down here n ejoy my cup of coffee n at e same time enjoying e scencery here. it's so wonderful. 2 u all u may think it's jzu a foodcourt but too mi nw is juz like a haven lo. i enjoy eating here.tt park below recalls my memories of those day but i dun intend to pay a visit there 2day bcoz i dun wan 2 get tanned. alathought e weather is a bit hot n stuffy but sitting here i dun feel anythimg at all lo. e sea(shld i call it sea) which is juz in front of mi is so calm nw. i aso dun noe y 2day when a frenz ask mi abt a produres of a certain machine, i teached him happily but aftt t i put on my ear plug n continue wif wat i was doin. i started 2 scribble n draw things on paper but soon i found it boring so stared 2 draw on my own hand. it looks like a tatoo lo but juz such a pity tt i cannt shot it down. it seems like i like doin these useless thing such as drawing n writing post/create an essay out fr nthg lo. maybe i hv make it a habit so nw everything gt 2 write if boring riz, i sometime will draw trambles n sometimes even draw a devil's face or devil realted thing lo. i aso dun noe y of all thing i like tt e most lo...maybe it has some links 2 my nick lo...juz nw i took a bus down to get here, on e bus i pass by my old institue, it was nt demolished yet. i think if i gt time, i muz ask A n CPout 2gether 2 take pic of e buliding b4 it is reali goin 2 be demolished anytime lo. tat's where my ITE journey started which brought mi so much frenz lo. Among so many of them, ithink A n CP who r e best so far lo. Although last time in ITEPP n ITEMP but we still manage 2 pass NITEC n progress on 4 Higher NITEC. but aft tt, 4 certain reason, nw left wif onli mi n CP still studying. A went 4 NS alreadi. CP n mi is in e same course but different campus. Actuli i dun reali cotact him tt often as compared to A lo. i always contact A becoz sice 1st term in ITEPP. i n him always quarrel here nther lo but end up nthg la.We r best buddies lo(both of us onli la). CP last time is my best buddy too but in e store we hv worked 2gether b4 n it's seem like at tattime, we r e best team evrytime we work 2gether at nightlo. but when in 2003 la, i came 2 noe my godsis(xumin), 2 mi, she is a ice gal although whenever wif her, troubles seem 2 be coming toward mi but i dun blame her or any1 for tat becoz i think evry1 makes mistakes in life. jus realize tat mistakes n dun repeat it any more. tat shld b e way we face our mistake n nt reapeating the same mistake again n again. in MSN world, i would like 2 take this chance here 2 thanz thses ppl i mention here. u may hv helped mi in a way or the other n fr my heart, i treat u all as my best frenz. they r Jasmine, V nV . thanz 4 all ur help. i think in real life, u r always n aso e best in all ur frenz's heart. think i shld stop here if nt i'll become a talkive person lo. gtg.bye
10/04/2005
ar.... so sianz lo, dun reali noe wat i m su8ppose 2 do. nw i noe, i shld go n do my report but b4 tt i muz finish tis post. 2day 2 mi is another boring n tired day. my head is so painful... so painful.. cannt even think too much. i think becoz tt time gt poked by something n tt scratch evrytime shampoo hair always kena scratched n it is always like gt water go into tt scratch which cause mi to hv headache lo. but nvm la, whenever i look out of my windows, i dun often c bright n sunny day instead it's a cloudy n windy day. i'll always thinktt maybe becoz my day is nt gd tt's y e weather everyday is juz like my mood. sometime gd sometime bad. 2 mila, i think i gt afew online frenz who r reali concerned 4 mi, i,Devil here would like 2 thanz them 4 ur concern n thanz 4 there r always there whenever i need help. i dun wish 2 say all of u out dun i hope u noe who u r. u help mi so much. i'll try 2 help u back if u need any help fr mi. sometime aft toking wif theses frenz , iwould feel so happy n sometime so excited until sometime cannt concerate in watever things i do but tt's around 15-20 mins onli la. but worri... i m ok 1.....think of myself, i reali dunnoe wat's reali happening 2 mi? but i think i hv cahnged 2 another person n i dun noe whether these changes r gd/ bad 4 mi? feel like shaving of all my hair on my head n become like a monk lo inorder to 4get all fan nao n be another person rather den epresent mi lo. hahaha...haha..think no need la, going NS soon/later tis yr but dun noe when enlist. by tt time, think my hair shld be long enough up tocover my neck lo. aft enlist, sure muz cut1, tt time shall drop tears 1 maybe beczo i nv keep long hair b4 lo.huh... y suddenli i think of so far, shld think abtwat 2 revise n do inorder 2 prepare myself 4 my coming exams wad. look like it's goin 2 rain. i hope tt tomolo weather can at least be better den 2day. there is tis particular girl who hv helped mi in distressing lo. i think u noe eho u r riz... thanz ar.. ur problem i try 2 help u. there is aso this jie mei(think is twins) but younger den mi la. they reali can try watever ways n mean they noe 2 help make ppl happy even they r unhappy. it's my pleasure 2 at least hv frenz like them in my circle of frenz. nt 4getting those frenz i hv in my circle la, u may hv helped mi but juz tt i dun reali realise/wad la, i take tis chance here 2 say a big thank u 4 all ur help in watever way/means u hv done. nw at least i feel a bit relieved lo. i regrte y i nv study well last time. tt y my english is so lan n mathematice more worse. think cannt reali survive tis soctiey lo. but nvm, i try my best 2 buck up on it. i like tis song: Tong Hua. i m listening to it nw. wat a nice n wonderful song. e rain i m looking at nw doesn't seem like rain 2 mi instead it looks like snow. hw i wish there is reali snow in singapore. at least 4 a period of time no need 2 go 2 sch juz like in other countries ...hahaha...haha... think too much already... cannt always daydream lo. muz think of realitylo if nt i'll be trapped in my world of illusion n imagiation. think tt's all 4 2day's post lo if nt sure no time to do report already... feel free to comment on allmy post. i accept all kinds/type of commets... take care every1 redaing tis post. may everthing procced as u desired. life is always tt wonderful n long. dun give up easily. hv faith n u shld be able 2 do wat u want/wanted 2 achieve 4 . take care.. gtg.bye
06/04/2005
hai.....ya...reali dunnoe lo. y like all unlucky thing always happening 2 mi n seems like happening 2 mi onli lo?i reali dun wish tt i becdome a burden to all my frenz lo but they hv their own life so y shld i go n bother them more wif my problems le. my head is going to exploded. i juz feel like doing all wat i shld do n faster get out fr this life i m living in nw lo. i think i shall nt living in this world le. i always dunnoe y lo i veli easily get pissed off/ angry over even a small issue lo. y can't i juz treat everything as normal as even nthg happen at all. so sick n tired of life lo. but somehw la whenever tt song(my gan mei compose n sung by herself 1) i play 2 listen la, my troubles n everythng seem to fad away temporaily lo. hw i wish i can be like a pc, as n when 1 to delete dat can delete. becoz i dun wishg to keep unwanted thing in my memories lo. i wish to onli hv beauitful n nice memories of everythings n evry1 i noe. i reali wish tt i can emigrate to other countries becoz i think at other countries la, there is nt so much stress n troubles lo. they may hv more freedom den here lo. huh... i seem 2 be living writing a diary over here? so sorri abt it . thanz 4 reading but pls dun think abt it aft u hv read it. theses r my own problem, i noe wat 2 do. u shall ive ur life in ur own way. remeber tt studies is always e most important in life. no study mean no work no work mean no money comes in2 ur pocket n in singapoe hw can no money, likett hw 2 survive in singapore so studies is important. nv nelgect ur studies. as long as u hv e heart 2 study, u can excel in it 1 lo. dun always think tt u can. be more confident n hv more faith in urself n u can excel n perform well in watever u do.... all e best 4 evey1. hope all ur wishes n hopes can come true n fulfilled sooner or later.. ok la .. i think i shall stop here nw... write again nxt time...bye bye
05/04/2005
har...so sianz nwadys, think dun 1 2 study anymore lo. one of my module i gt a warning letter saying my attendance is too poo. think need 2 appeal in order 2 continue. so sad until like thee is no more tomorrow 4 mi. nw i reali dun noe wat i shld do lo. my mind keeps on telling miturn back 2 tt normal mi whom always attend lesson 1. i wish 2 do tt but i reali dun wish 2 c tt 2 bastard in my classlo.think u all muz be thinking tt i mm nt a gd guy riz? actuli i m but juz tt i dun behave like 1 onli. dunnoe la. think fr 2day onward, i shall nt let myself n those who hv been supporting mi down anymore. it's time 4 mi 2 wake up fr my dream n stop wasting my time doing useless thing instead i shall do something 2 buck up my studies lo. i fear 1 thing n tt is if my parents'll 2 noe tt issue on my attendance can they take tt fact? nvm la anyway i m old enough i shall noe wat 2 do lo. wat i shld do nw is 2 try to salvage tt attendance issue n get my studies back on track.Where r u, my angel? i miss u so much but anyway i dun think u can do much 2 salvage my problem lo. i'll try 2 solve n salvage by myself. my life is mine, my future is mine so i chose e road my self. dun worri, i'll try 2 turn over a new leaf to be a devil more powerful den last time. life is still nt so miserable 4 mi yet. i think thee is still hope 4 mi. i shall/muz nt tarnish/ give this hope up. i thank who hv helped mi b4 but juz too bad i take all ur advice 4 granted. this is my outcome of nt listening/taking words fr u all. nw i relize it, i think is too late 4 mi already...tt's it la.. i can manage by myself. thanz..bye
04/04/2005
ar....so sianz. juz aft yesterday tomb-sweeping onli, weather started to turned cold. 2 day dun noe y i dun reali feel like studying/learn anything lo, i juz feeel like slacking around. juz nw chat wif my gan mei, i think she is e onli who is able to read my mind lo, sometime u can noe wat's on my mind. 2 mi i still think tt i m stil afailure in everything lo, there was once 2 of my teacher tok abt mi saying tt i m a gd student who is hardworking n willing to take hardship tt ype of student la but it's juz tt tt determination n attitude 2wards studies is nt constant lo. nw i dun noe waat i think aso, whenever i feel troubled in my heart, i dun feel like willingly to learn n study lo. all this i aso dun reali noe y. maybe be becoz of work or something else...... i aso nt sure. raining days recalls mi of my memories of mi siting at e esplanade library staring at e rain. tt day aso raing like 2day lo. i reali like tt place a lot, whenever i off-day/free, no-sch or troubled , i 'll always think of goin there to admire e scenery there. tt park there is a great place 4 couples but i dun seems 2 care so much i always go there n i can even sat down there 4 2-3hrs staring at e sea n signborad in front of "tt" seat saying :Beware Of Faling Coconut. nw it seems like thesesr e day tt i hv gone through n tt reminds mi of s"something" but nw i still wish tt i can let time erase off all tt memories. i dun wish 2 c any1 unhappy/sad over certain thing. remeber tt no matter wat happens, life still gt 2 carry on. it doesn't mean tt when something happens, it's like end of e world like tt lo. every problem comes wif solution so find out e solution n e problem'll be solved but ever think on e negative side, think more on e postive side. life is so wonderful, there r so many things tt u can complete in ur life. trust urself n u'll be able to do it. n i thing i muz advise all my frenz is like uif u hv any problems/troubles/grudes, pls dun bear/keep all to urself, if u need a listening feel some1 u will feel comfortable wif 2 tok to or find ways to let out al tt out if nt u 'll hv mental disorder soon.juz like mi, i think this blog helped mi. hw u wan 2 handle all theses problems/troubles/grudes is all up 2 u. may god bless tt tomorrow is a fine day 4 all of us to start our days anew. my nick is devil but my mind n heart is nt evil. try to take everything easy. muahhahahaha......hahaha.... take care every1..... do no evil... uc no evil..... u hear no devil n u'll nt be evil...
Mar 05
31/03/2005
ar.... actuli i dun noe wat i wan 2 tok or write down here. juz feel tt this blog is a great help 2 mi. i reali dun noe wat 2 do nw lo. i gt this problem but no solution 2 e problem so anyone who may hv/hv any way/solution 2 it, feel free to email mi. the prblem: i gt a two frenz who r twins la. ok, let's cal them j n js. js lost my texbook but claim tt he did nt even hv my book but actuli he borrow it fr mi so i think it's juz a book so i juz photocopy one more n ignore him since tt day. nxt is e brother of js which is j la. he borrowed 50 fr mi last yrs around oct but becoz i lost my wallet at tt pt of time so he lent mi 10 4 mi 2 go home. aft tt he say he'll return at end of e mth but he always say no money n even say will return mi aft CNY but in e end aso nv return so i aso ignore but i dun noe whether wat i m doin nw is it riz? so nwadays always so troblued n always alone becoz i dun trust anyone in my class n sch. it is like i dun care / give adamn to anything tt's happening around mi lo. fr my heart la, i tell u all la but dun say it out actuali i think tt i dun reali nd frenz so lons i hv my discman wif mi, i dun feel lonlely/alone at all. it all thanz to this discman of mine which hv been e one who noe my troubles n worries. hw i wish it is a live n can tok to mi lo so tt i at least no need 2 type so much/spend time searching 4 some1 2 tok to lo. ok la actuali juz toking it out here onli so as 2 reduce my risk of getting mental problem. whoever thinks tt he/she hv e solution/ hv experience this type of problem b4 can email mi 2 mi mi solve e problem. Thanz 4 all ur attention, care n concern (if there is any). hope those who hv finish exam may their resultscome wif flying colurs n those who r reading my blog to be healthy n fit always. gd luck 4 every1. may everything goes smoothly 4 every1. i try 2 keep on updating my blog but onli when i free. gt 2 go n slp nwcoz tomolo gt lesson at 8am. gd night every1. bye bye
24/03/2005
ar...actuali i aso dun noe wat 2 say here lo. i juz create a blog so juz come in n tok cock a bit la. i aso reali dun noe y i creat a blog lo maybe beczo of tt "some1" lo or something else la. theses few days i feel quite moody lo becoz of some personal affair n some matter which happens during in my work. suddenly feel like so sianz until like as if there is no more tomorrow already but life still gt to continue. i chose devil as my nick becoz i think it suits me e most lo. althought tt may sound like i m nt a nice guy but when u reali get 2 noe mi more/ long enough, u 'll noe e real mi la. Devil here wish tt any1 who is currently studtying, working/even serving NS to stay healy & fit always n may everthing goes smoothly as it should be. Take Care Every1